Click on the thumbnail for a bigger version! (also, blame harvey for the less than optimal picture :)

by Harvey Xiao

This is what the Toyota Camry SHOULD be like. Boring as all hell, yes, but also composed with decent driver feedback. You see, the difference between the Volvo S70 and a Toyota Camry is that the Volvo DOES have a personality. Bland, yes, but defined nonetheless. 

Sorry. Let me take a step back. I owned a 1999 Volvo S70 for 5 months - ending just a couple months ago. Vivid memories.

Why I bought it:

Having just planted myself in this frozen wasteland we call New England, I thought I’d be conservative. Wisdom told me I needed front wheel drive - crushing my dreams of buying an old Mercedes. Diesel was out of the question, since those don’t bother starting when temperatures dip low. I’ve had several Japanese cars, but mechanics around here swear that they aren’t well-equipped to handle the cold (nyeh..  my Honda’s heater takes awhile to warm up, but that’s about it). So, out of ideas, I decided to to what any reasonable guy would do: look around. Boy, New England is Swedish country. Holy crap. Everybody and their mother-in-law drives a Volvo or Saab. Knowing little about either, I went with the prettier of the two.

This is what I found: 1999 Volvo S70 5-speed manual 99k miles for $3000.

I put in a new battery, new hoses, new O2 sensor, and began my Swedish adventure.

Ownership experience:

The design theme of this car must have been: “Seeing Squares?” The S70 - a lightly reskinned 850, was the last of the boxy Volvos. The designers lived up to Volvo’s reputation. The car is basically one big box serving as the backdrop for a collection of smaller boxes that make up the windows, door handles, turn signals, headlights, grill, trim pieces, and even the logo. The interior was much the same story - a square steering wheel wouldn’t have looked out of place. Sorry, Apple. Volvo came up with soft-edged squares first ;)

Boxy wasn’t a bad thing. Outside, the design was clean, purposeful, even handsome - or at the very least, non-offensive. The inside was ergonomically comfortable, and soothing to the look and feel. In a world of digital speedometers, neon blue radio controls, and air conditioning systems controlled through the navigation screen, the Volvo’s cabin was a thing of beauty. Big simple buttons made with high quality materials laid out in an intuitive pattern on a dash slightly offset towards the driver. Ahhhh… Honda, you reading this?

This relaxing personality carried over to the motor as well. Volvo’s naturally aspirated 20-valve 5-cylinder unit is silky smooth and quiet. The S70 isn’t quick by any standards, but felt confident, composed, and power-adequate in all situations. In conservative to moderate driving, my S70 returned 28.7 mpg - impressive for a Swedish tank. An unexpected surprise with this motor was the aggressive sounding growl in higher engine speeds, courtesy of its 4-valve / cylinder design. It reminded me of the sweet and smooth purr you get from flooring Mercedes 300CE-24 - okay, not quite that nice.

My absolute favorite part about my S70 was its 5-speed manual gearbox. It was like no other gearbox I’ve ever tried. It wasn’t so much well-engineered as it was overbuilt. Unlike a Honda transmission that slides crisply from gear to gear, the Volvo landed every shift firmly and with a confident thud. The gearbox had NO vibration in ANY gear and no trouble ever engaging reverse on the first try. Amazing. More interestingly to me, the transmission’s gearing, feel, and performance matched the rest of the car. It made me realize - this couldn’t have been a coincidence. Somebody at Volvo purposely built a car that is competent, yet bland - reliable, yet unobtrusive. That’s rather brilliant.

The actual driving experience was pretty much spot on with my expectations. The Volvo’s steering was light, provided decent feedback. Same went for the clutch. The suspension was a bit tougher than you might expect - more Honda Accord than Toyota Camry. However, the Volvo is much heavier than either, and it showed in its lack of Japanese-style bounciness. The S70 just absorbed bumps instead of bouncing over them - not a bad thing. It had a seriousness about it. The German influence shows. The S70’s cornering abilities are a huge improvement over the 240 / 740 / 940 family, thanks to a reworked front end and a semi-independent rear suspension. One surprise I noticed:This thing rattled more on Boston’s rough roads than a 3-year old Volkswagen Passat. It was awful. I guess Swedish roads are nicer than here.

Be Prepared: Volvos aren’t Hondas in resale or reliability. Read: electrical nightmare. Enough said.

Verdict: All in all, the S70 wasn’t a bad car. New or used, it represents a somewhat more expensive proposition than the Accord / Camry standard. However, it brings quirks the Japanese players don’t have - some endearing, some annoying. The S70 is a rather interesting car - interesting in its purposeful blandness and its unwillingness to step out of line in fear of upsetting the owner. It’s the perfect car for a rough commute home after a long day at the office. It’s combination swiss bank vault and chiropractic chair. I wouldn’t buy the S70 again, but I don’t regret my purchase. I just decided to get rid of it before I gained more of its personality.

Cool? 4/8 - in a “I’m grown up” way

Practical? 7/8 - It fits

Safe? 8/8 - airbag equipped bank vault

Reliable? 5/8 - It usually starts

Attractive? 5/8 - If you have a UPS packaging fetish

Value? 5/8 - open a mechanic fund

Fun? 2/8 - HA!